There are 10 things that you should look out for that could indicate 'micro-cheating', and they're more obvious than you think

Joshua Nair

An expert has shared 10 ways you might be able to tell if your partner is 'micro-cheating'.

Psychotherapist Deborah Krevalin describes micro-cheating as 'a little bit more under the radar and subtle' than regular cheating, though your partner may not have been unfaithful in the physical sense, they may be betraying your trust in other ways.

The new is something to keep an eye on, and now, a relationship expert has weighed in on how to catch someone in the act.

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Marriage and Manifestation Coach Beth Miller outlined that micro-cheating comes down to intent, emotional focus, secrecy and the feeling of guilt, before diving into 10 examples you may want to be aware of.

Secrecy around their phone

If your partner guards their phone or deletes messages on social media without hesitation, it could be a sign of them doing something much worse.

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The expert notes that this is particularly worrying if their behaviour suddenly changes and they become more particular around their device, turning it away when you're there, or putting it face down when you come into the room.

Miller adds: "If [they] change [their] passwords without a valid reason and doesn’t share them with you, it could point to secretive behaviour."

Calling flirting with others 'harmless'

If your partner continuously has flirtatious interactions with other people while playing down its seriousness, according to the expert, they could end up undermining the trust you have built up together.

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A dismissive attitude when you bring it up, a lack of awareness or a spike in flirty behaviour could also highlight micro-cheating.

Frequent private chats with others

To be more specific, this refers to emotional or deeper conversations with people where boundaries are tested and can ultimately lead to issues in the relationship.

If your other half is constantly talking to others about private subjects, and they seem evasive when you bring it up, the Marriage and Manifestation Coach says they may be betraying your trust.

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Liking inappropriate posts online

If you frequently catch your beau liking or commenting on inappropriate social media posts, it can violate the boundaries you have.

Again, if they try to play it off or continue to do so in secret after you bring it up, Miller says it could cause long-term problems for your relationship.

Downplaying connections with others

Insisting that they're 'just friends' with that person can be a red flag, and if you can see that they're emotionally invested in someone else, it could set an unhealthy precedent for your relationship.

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According to the expert, it could mean that they are looking for emotional fulfilment outside of the relationship – you can scope this out if they often talk about the person, or turn to them for emotional support instead of you.

Prioritising others

If your partner is too focused on validation that they get from others instead of from you, it could end up in feelings of neglect.

When they become a bit too eager when talking about interactions with other people and not prioritising your needs and feelings in social situations, it may not be a good sign.

Secretive social media use

Miller says spending a lot of time on social media than normal, when its unexplained or in secret, could be a sign of micro-cheating.

Unexplained absences and excessive time on their phone or even using dating-like apps can also be a huge red flag.

Becoming more distant

If your partner's attention is clearly somewhere else, emotional withdrawal can hit hard and affect the relationship.

The expert advises to look out for a lack of physical affection, less communication about how they are feeling day-to-day, and a drop in interest in things you used to do together.

Dodging conversations about relationship boundaries

If you try to speak about micro-cheating or things that may be unacceptable in your relationship and they become defensive or dismissive, there could be a reason behind that discomfort.

Miller says changes of subject or vague responses could indicate that they don't really want to discuss boundaries and would prefer to keep doing what they're doing.

Getting defensive when you confront them

If they react with guilt or anger when you bring up how they are with others, it could be a sign that they feel threatened, or know that they're crossing boundaries.

And, according to the expert, changes of irritation or refusing to engage in conversation further is a bad sign and could show that they are already micro-cheating.

What to do if your partner shows any of these signs

If you are worried, Miller suggests: "Start by reflecting on your feelings to understand your emotions and concerns. Take some time to process your emotions."

When you feel ready to talk to your partner about it, the expert advises to use 'I statements to express how their behaviour affects you'.

She adds: "If you find that discussions don’t lead to a resolution, consider seeking professional help."

Topics: Sex and Relationships,

Joshua Nair is a journalist at LADbible. Born in Malaysia and raised in Dubai, he has always been interested in writing about a range of subjects, from sports to trending pop culture news. After graduating from Oxford Brookes University with a BA in Media, Journalism and Publishing, he got a job freelance writing for SPORTbible while working in marketing before landing a full-time role at LADbible. Unfortunately, he's unhealthily obsessed with Manchester United, which takes its toll on his mental and physical health. Daily.

@joshnair10